Simfish/InquilineKea's Thoughts

concerning interactions with other people
February 9, 2008, 12:40 pm
Filed under: main

people like interacting with other people in such a way thatlists of grievances make a lot more sense when they’re based on normative/deontological arguments rather than utilitarian ones

you can justify anything after you’ve firmly established your belief in it, even if it happens to be wrong.still, i seem convinced that i can’t socialize with most people and seem to have developed pretty strong reasons (to myself anyways) why i can’t.a lot of socially awkward people desire social interaction and don’t know how to interact with others. some mange to succeed. some never succeed. i don’t know. everyone plays some role in your life. you need people in different roles. you need people to entertain you, but you don’t need too many of them. you need someone to get jealous of. you need a scapegoat or someone to throw things on. you need an antisocial academic superstar at your school. they’re all fun to talk about. hm. i guess i fall under some roles better than others (wrt most people).

synchronization isn’t always mutual. sometimes it’s unidirectional. one person can amuse everyone else even if he has no pleasure in trying to amuse everyone else, even if he doesn’t know that he’s amusing other people. he just happens to perform actions that happen to synchronize with the range of behaviors that others happen to positively respond to.

actually this formulation is a _very_ good formulation i’ve defined, since now i precisely know what i desire when i try to make friends (and i also precisely know why i can’t get along with a lot of people who share my interests). and also why i happen to use some interests as proxies to measure synchronization (or some behaviors as proxies). hm.

sometimes i’m reluctant to do things for other people. or with other people. disagreements arise up from (a) differences between [confidence one has in one’s predictions] and [someone else’s confidence in one’s predictions] or [the things that happen to come out in reality] and (b) the estimation of the relative contribution of various parameters that come in the determination of an observed outcome. [versus someone else’s estimation of the relative contribution of such parameters, or those observed in reality ]
but really, why do people make computer games? why are reviews made for them? it’s all based on synchronization.

why do i socialize with nerds? because it’s easier to synchronize with them than it is with “normal” people who depend on implicit (non-explicit) parameters for synchronization. or maybe it’s just that (SOME of them) are more likely to implicitly synchronize with me than “normal” people (maybe their means at finding the appropriate actions (to elicit positive/desired reactions) in a context are different than the mans normal people use).

the vast majority of messages are communicated implicitly and it’s up to the person to figure out the best way to act in a certain context [to determine the actions most likely to elicit positive/desired responses] BASED on his/her interpretation of such messages and whether he/she senses them or not. even texts contain hidden meanings – so it’s up to the person to figure out hidden meanings/motivations behind texts.

are there different MEANS to determine what are the best actions appropriate in a given context? yes. you can use logical reasoning or you can use reasoning based on a comparison of the person with other people (both of whom potentially have similar reactions to a given event).


maybe the best test of synchronization would just be for me to explicitly tell people when i “strongly” feel that they’ve said something i really liked (even if i have no animated response to what they said), and ask others to do the same for me. i could also explicitly tell people when i “strongly” feel that they’ve said something that synchronized with what i disliked (but this only applies to people who have a very strong desire to interact with me).


EDIT: April 1, 2008:

Responding to advice: if paired up with my current strategy, your suggestions would make them all more likely to be jointly sufficient towards a goal.

credibility arguments::

“they pay so much $$ for these”, “professionally designed”, “you get feedback”

The capacity to remember what you tell other people in the past may actually be quite important (some people seem to lack this).

Ben golub’s quote on why he finds sakky awkward


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